Crush My Ass

Screw on-screen crushes. Top five on-screen girls whom I've jerked off to.

1) Drew Barrymore as Ivy in Poison Ivy - It's hard to recognize the cute little girl from E.T. unless you concentrate real hard.

2) Shannon Tweed as Marilyn Mejenes in Night Eyes 2 - Oh the joys of a free cinemax weekend and a house to yourself. And god bless blonde behemoths.

3) Rosanna Arquette as Gabrielle in Crash - The scar. Need I say more?

4) Corinne Clery as O in The Story of O - Nothing warps a child's mind more then seeing a woman chained naked in front of a mirror and whipped by a black slave girl before getting it from behind by the master of the house. Women never seem to live up to expectations after that.

5) Alisha Klass as herself in Seymore Butts' Tushy Girls Slumber Party - First and last time I've seen an enema in action. Klass indeed. You have to love a chick that prefers it in the ass. God bless 'um.